A Shattered Life

I thank God for this special day. It’s not just any other day that I always thank Him for because today, God has allowed the person to whom we pawned our house, to lend us the title so that we could finally submit it to the bank. To convince that person is a real tall order. Let’s call that person as Mrs. TF.

As a matter of fact, I had to execute a promisory note that I shall deliver to her a replacement title(my sister’s) just to convince her. On top of that, she has the passbook of our joint account where the proceeds of the loan will be deposited.

Handing the title to the bank is a win-win solution for all of us concerned. To itemize the benefits, they are as follows:
1. The bank will release the loan proceeds in staggard basis. That means we will receive some money that we will use to pay Mrs. TF. On the other hand, we can use some of the proceeds to continue work on the house.
2. Since we can continue to finish the house, we’ll have chance to receive the full amount of the loan thereby allowing us to pay completely Mrs. TF. Even if we don’t completely finish the house and just enough to make it to the 90% level, at least the house would already be livable.
3. When we pay Mrs. TF, we’ll no longer pay exorbitant interest rate. That’s a big relief.
4. Most importantly, I’ll only have to pay PHP30,000+ monthly for ten years. We’ll no longer have to worry that Mrs. TF will get our house.
5. The loan is insured. If I die, my family will no longer have to worry on how to pay the house. That’s already covered by the insurance as well as fire insurance.

In two to three year’s time, I plan to transfer the loan to PAG-IBIG. I hope I’ll still have that chance. But there’s still a big problem… how to get the other title.

With God’s help, I know we’ll get it. I’ll buy a lotto ticket tonight.

It’s a tough decision ahead. I’m on a crossroad.

My plans on working in Singapore suddenly hit a snag lately. First, there’s this POEA Memorandum on Direct Hire and then the US subprime crisis which could lead to recession. What on earth do these things have to do with me? Well, I thought there’s none until my prospect employer suspended their hiring. Talk about great timing.

On another hand are the other offers from the companies I applied in. My asking price is just above the average. What can I do? I can’t sacrifice my career here for a small increase in my paycheck. The main reason I want to go to Sing is to earn more, not simply for career advancement(though that’s part of it, admittedly). I don’t want to sound like a braggart but SGD4000 doesn’t really appeal to me because with the high cost of living in that city state, only a small amount will be left. So I have to wait for better offer.

What’s difficult here is that the management of my current employer is waiting for my decision. I’ve already told them my plans and though they understand my situation, I need to decide on whether I’ll go ahead or stay. It’s an important decision as they need it in the planning. It’s not like the company depends on me but on our setup, everybody is important. No one is indespensible but everyone matters. The company has been very good to me, I must admit. I cannot hang them in a balance.

Going to Sing is a big decision. It’s probably one of the biggest, if not the biggest, decision in my life. There’s a lot of things at stake and in the next two weeks, I have to make a final decision. I hope to God that he enlighten me and I ask you to pray for me. I know God has a reason for all these.

I saw the title of this post from a blog and it hit me hard. If you think of it, hope is not really a course of action. It’s actually an inaction but wether we admit it or not, we hold on this on dire situations. It’s not bad to hope but what’s wrong with it is the tendency to sit back and wait for will happen.

I must admit that I do have that tendency. Not sounding to defend myself, there are times that I don’t know what to do and the only option left for me is to wait and see. I realized that that’s not really an option because if you will just notice, there are ways to solve problems. You may not solve them all but at least, you’ll cover some ground.

Hope coupled with hard work and prayers will definitely result to something positive. Don’t just sit and wait, we have to do something. In my situation, I really have to work harder and continue to find solutions. It’s easier said than done but I have to. At the same time, we should appreciate all the blessings of the Lord. Trust me, your faith in God will keep you sane.