A Shattered Life

I’m not feeling well today. I know, bawal magkasakit but maybe I’m just feeling down (because of one investor wanting a bigger cut despite having the largest cut) or maybe it’s just a case of common colds. I don’t know but I’m hoping that everything goes well tomorrow.

I got headache now and feels like I’ll be getting a fever. I took my vitamins and will be heading to bed early tonight. I also realized that for this year, I did not encounter having fever of flu yet. In the past years, it always happen to me. Hopefully, it won’t come this year. Getting sick here in Singapore is costly.

Oh, the other big reason why I don’t want to get sick is the fact that I’ll need to take a medical leave. It’s ok if I’ll just file it but I still have to pay the doctor(GP) at least $30 for that mandatory medical certificate. That’s a lot of money for me. Also, I have unfinished critical task in the office and that would be a big black mark on my “report card” if I don’t finish it on Monday. It may not cost my job but definitely will have impact on my performance evaluation.

For sure, it won’t sit well with my investors. No job means no payment for them (which I feel is what’s only important). I’m glad to say that I’m not dying yet. So please don’t panic. Otherwise, you won’t be hearing from me, right?

Reflecting on my current financial woes, I realized just how greedy some of my so called friends are. Apparently, they don’t exactly know what investment means. They didn’t realize that when investing money, it’s not like placing your money in a regular savings and getting them back as you please. All they see is the agreed interest flowing back to their coffers without a concern on the health and status of the company they are investing in. Heck, they don’t even care if the people who runs the company are still eating or not or if they are still alive or not.

These people don’t realize that no investment is risk free. Even government bonds are not free from risk. Experts only say that it’s ‘virtually risk-free’ but never free. How much more with a small company. And it turns out that they don’t really care if the clients are not paying or not. I hate to say it but they don’t care at all.

What happened now is that they will get all their money back with all the interest.As a matter of fact, a number of them is already paid up including interest. I have to do that because since I consider them friends, I cannot fail them. They entrusted their money to my sister’s company through me and I take responsibility for that.

But let’s say that they bought those minibonds from Lehman which was also sold as “low-risk” investments by their agents. Or what if they bought AIG shares at its peak since most of them are AIG employees anyway. What would then be their reaction if they learn that AIG shares lost 95% of its value while Lehman’s minibond disappears into the air. I don’t know but aren’t they happy that aside from raking in interests, they will also get their money back?

And here I am, working day and night to pay for their investment. Some of you may say that I’m stupid to pay them but I gave my word. I want to keep my word that at the very least, I’ll pay back their principal. But some are just plain greedy and stupid. And yes, we were all stupid.

You just don’t know what it feels hanging in the air. That’s what exactly what I feel for almost a year now.

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