February 2008
The Valley And Beyond
Filed Under Personal
On the middle of all these mess, I can’t help but imagine about what lies beyond the valley. Simply put, what’s waiting for me and my family. Just like anybody else, I’m also human who hopes that everything will be cleared. Dreaming is my temporary respite from all the pressures and stress of my current situation. Somehow, it gives me energy to move forward — to do my responsibilities especially here at the office. Despite being bothered, I must continue life.
In line with that, we’ve able to disburse a considerable amount of money from Jan 23 until today. That’s for my accounts alone and I’m very thankful to our Lord for providing us the money. It came from various sources mainly from the business, of course. I’m also thankful to my employer who gave us performance bonus and the lowered tax rate is applied. They all came at a right time. But yes, despite all these, we’re still short of almost twice that amount. The sad thing is, it will grow larger with as time progresses because there are scheduled dues. But we can only do so much.
It’s an uphill battle that becomes more and more difficult each day. On every hill taken, there’s another one much higher than the last. It’s like the only easiest day was yesterday.
It is said (I also believe) that “HOPE IS NOT A COURSE OF ACTION” but when it’s only the best thing that you can do, you have to hold onto it. I pray that one day, I’ll be able to get a glimpse what’s beyond the valley. With God on my side, I know we’ll get there…. in His time.
Insurance 102
Filed Under Paid Posts
A lawyer friend always tells me that one of the most lucrative business is insurance. Specifically, he states that non-life insurance is shortchanging us from the premium that we pay them for well, insurance. He simply doesn’t believe in the system and if not for the requirement by the government for compulsary third-party liability for cars, he wouldn’t get one. Actually, CTPL is one of the cash cows of insurance companies all over the world and most especially here in the Philippines. Just look at the number of fly-by-night insurance companies and you’ll understand. Though I agree with some points raised by my friend, I do not completely agree. For high-risk- high-value items, I would still choose to insure them so that in times of disaster, I can get something in return that I may be able to use to start over.
But pre-need and life insurance plans are different. It offers return of your investment after an agreed time not like the usual non-life insurance wherein after your policy period, premium paid is all gone. I’m not sure about Health Insurance, though. A friend terminated his policy after paying large amount of money for several years without receiving nothing in return. He realized that he’s paying for something that he doesn’t need. Honestly, I feel the same but at the same time, the benefit of my mother’s Health Insurance is more than worth everything she paid. So it’s really a case to case basis.
Mind sets shared by my lawyer-friend to ordinary people does not really help in educating Filipinos regarding insurance. Unlike in the western countries where a majority of citizens have various insurance, Filipinos lack the knowledge on its importance. You may find it odd for a person who works in an insurance company like me but I admit that I don’t have my own life insurance yet. The only insurance that I have is the coverage provided for by my employer. Of course, I have plans to buy one. For now, it’s not yet my priority. Maybe I have to take Insurance 102 module as the 101 did not convince me enough.
Crossroads and Roadblocks
Filed Under Money Matters, PersonalIt’s a tough decision ahead. I’m on a crossroad.
My plans on working in Singapore suddenly hit a snag lately. First, there’s this POEA Memorandum on Direct Hire and then the US subprime crisis which could lead to recession. What on earth do these things have to do with me? Well, I thought there’s none until my prospect employer suspended their hiring. Talk about great timing.
On another hand are the other offers from the companies I applied in. My asking price is just above the average. What can I do? I can’t sacrifice my career here for a small increase in my paycheck. The main reason I want to go to Sing is to earn more, not simply for career advancement(though that’s part of it, admittedly). I don’t want to sound like a braggart but SGD4000 doesn’t really appeal to me because with the high cost of living in that city state, only a small amount will be left. So I have to wait for better offer.
What’s difficult here is that the management of my current employer is waiting for my decision. I’ve already told them my plans and though they understand my situation, I need to decide on whether I’ll go ahead or stay. It’s an important decision as they need it in the planning. It’s not like the company depends on me but on our setup, everybody is important. No one is indespensible but everyone matters. The company has been very good to me, I must admit. I cannot hang them in a balance.
Going to Sing is a big decision. It’s probably one of the biggest, if not the biggest, decision in my life. There’s a lot of things at stake and in the next two weeks, I have to make a final decision. I hope to God that he enlighten me and I ask you to pray for me. I know God has a reason for all these.
The TadPole Update
Filed Under PersonalI visited a urologist last Saturday to ask an expert advice regarding my fertility problem. Yes, I call it that no matter how blunt the word is.
I was asked if I’m stressed. You guess it right, I am. Year 2007 was a year full of twists and turns. I started the year flying to Taiwan office to solve a problem in their application systems and a string of high-profile projects were dumped on me. It was very stressful and tiring that on mid-2007, I already want to quit. It was a year of numerous phone calls in the wee hours in the morning. And it doesn’t stop there. Our financial woes started last October until now.
Would that be the possible cause? As of now, we don’t know. One thing is for sure, I have 95% abnormal/weak sperm on my first test. The doctor advised me take another test in Capitol. He also did not find anything abnormal on my testicles so it will take several tests to be able to determine what needs to be done.
I was also advised to take Rogin E twice. If after the second test and the result is still not favorable, he’ll prescribe another medicine on top of RoginE. As for now, I’m not allowed to drink beer and any alcohol. I will not be affected by that since I only drink occasionally. So it’s much easier to avoid it all together. I also don’t have any problem with the no-smoking rule as I don’t smoke. I also don’t take drugs and never had. One last thing that I’m not allowed to take — spicy foods. Well, I also hate them. I hope these new measures will make my tadpoles stronger and live longer.
Look at me, as if my financial woes is not enough, I have this kind of deficiency. But I believe God has plans for Jane and me. Everything happens for a reason. All we have to do is wait and trust him.
Coconut and Typhoons
Filed Under PersonalA priest recently ask me, “Do you know the difference between the coconuts near the shore and the trees inland?”
I pause a bit and convincing myself that I don’t see any difference, I asked him back. He told me that trees that grew near the shorelines are stronger and doesn’t easily fall even with strong winds and typhoons. I must admit that I did not realize that until he told me so. If you’ll notice, trees and nuts (coconuts) that stands near the shore is constantly battling strong winds but they don’t fall down. They even bear fruit. On the contrary, you’ll see fallen trees blocking the streets every time there is a strong typhoon. I’ve seen this numerous times in my home province. Our was even damaged one time by a fallen tree. So, how is it related to our dire situation?
People are like the trees. There are people who are like those that are near the shorelines. Winds from the seas are strong and constant. And the more they are battered by strong winds, the more they extends their roots into the ground. It adjusts to the situation so that on every time a typhoon or the strong “habagat” winds comes, the tree would be able to survive. In the end, the winds allowed the tree to grow stronger, with extended roots, with proper grounding. On the contrary, the trees further inland are not often subjected to strong winds and thus become vulnerable when a typhoon comes. They easily sway and fall.
In real life, problems actually makes us stronger. And we must understand that anything that won’t kill us will only make us stronger if we choose to. Easier said than done but with God’s grace, storms will past and we will be better prepared on the next.
Mask of Sorrow
Filed Under UncategorizedIn the gospel last Feb 2, Jesus was presented at the temple. There he met Simeon, a devout man and considered as a very intelligent. There the holy family also saw a widow named Anna. She is known as a prophetess. As a widow, she is described to have known and suffered sorrow. She must know what sorrow is all about.
In the gospel’s reflections in “366 days with the Lord”, a daily gospel published by St Paul’s, it says :
Anna’s being a widow meant that, at least because of the death of her husband, she had known sorrow. Sorrow can make us hard, bitter, and resentful, or more understanding, kinder, and more sympathetic. It can take away our faith or make our faith more solid. Which of these alternatives happens will depend on what we think about God – whether he’s a tyrant who sends sorrows with no apparent reason other than his own pleasure, or a loving Father who permits us to be tested to show who we are. To Anna, God was a loving Father.
It is very fitting in my current situation. Sorrow tests your faith in God and the way we will react on the these tests depends on how I think about God.
The reflection groups our reaction into two groups as follows;
Left : hard, bitter, and resentful - can take away our faith
Right : more understanding, kinder, and more sympathetic - make our faith more solid
It is very easy to say that we should choose those in right but I tell you, it’s not easy. I wouldn’t wish anybody to be in my situation. It’s as if I’m hanging on a last thread without knowing how long it can take me. It tests your faith and had not with my mother’s guidance and love during my formative years, I would have easily fallen. Your childhood environment matters, how you were presented to God just as Jesus is presented to the Temple.
Again, I ask for your prayers.
Hope is not a Course of Action
Filed Under Money Matters, PersonalI saw the title of this post from a blog and it hit me hard. If you think of it, hope is not really a course of action. It’s actually an inaction but wether we admit it or not, we hold on this on dire situations. It’s not bad to hope but what’s wrong with it is the tendency to sit back and wait for will happen.
I must admit that I do have that tendency. Not sounding to defend myself, there are times that I don’t know what to do and the only option left for me is to wait and see. I realized that that’s not really an option because if you will just notice, there are ways to solve problems. You may not solve them all but at least, you’ll cover some ground.
Hope coupled with hard work and prayers will definitely result to something positive. Don’t just sit and wait, we have to do something. In my situation, I really have to work harder and continue to find solutions. It’s easier said than done but I have to. At the same time, we should appreciate all the blessings of the Lord. Trust me, your faith in God will keep you sane.
Where Still At It!
Filed Under Money Matters, PersonalIn deep shit, that is! Though we’ve covered some ground in the past month, . The deal with my creditors has given us some breathing space. And on those days, I have immersed myself with lots of work. I also received some money from the office that allo
But it came to a point that the impasse has lapsed. And it did this week. We are actually scheduled to pay the TCT we pawned to a loan shark. We failed. Also, we were supposed to pay 180T to the previous owner of the house. I was able to give him 80T. The other 100T is still hanging in the balance. And there’s quite a number of people either waiting for their interest or full payment of their investment. I can’t pay them, of course.
Before this week, I was actually hoping that the burden will ease somehow. Some clients have already paid like that in Albay who gave 30% downpayment and then one in Bukidnon and another from a clinic that operates in the malls in the metro. But for some reason, we did not receive any part of those. The clinic’s cheque bounced and the rest was not even enough to pay for the company’s debts that matured.
Most of the time, I no longer want to wake up. There are times that I no longer want to report in the office. But I know I must, at least be present in the office even if my mind is wandering somewhere. At home, I just hug my dear wife. That’s all we can do… hug each other and pray hard that everything goes well.
Yes, I’m so depressed.
