Goodbye, Ate Lita

I just got the news that my cousin, “Ate Lita”, passed away last night. Right now, I am not sure of the cause of the death though we know that she had thyroid problems. But my brother was informed that it could have been a cancer. Of what type, we still don’t know as of the moment. All we know right now is that she wasn’t admitted in FEU in Fairview because she needed isolation but the hospital don’t have vacant facility for that. Accompanied by Ate Mel and Arianne(her eldest) they then had to rush to PGH in Manila where she succummed to death.

At mid-40s, she’s the oldest of the grandchildren of our beloved Mamang. She’s a very good dentist and was working under the health bureau of the provincial government until lately. I can still remember my tooth being extracted by Ate Lita at a makeshift clinic at the back of my grandparent’s house. That’s when she’s just about to graduate. There were times that our Lolo had to tie us on the seat in order for Ate Lita to do her job. For a time, she practiced and maintained a clinic in Panggulayan until she went into government service. Even while in the health bureau, she still maintained a clinic in their house in Bansud where she settled together with her family. Even at faraway Bansud, we would travel there for any dental problems just as everybody does from Panggulayan. Heck, I even asked her if she can do the braces of my wife which she politely declined as she isn’t an orthodontic(needs further studies for this).

Her death came at a very challenging times at on a very unappropriate time. It came as a surprise to everybody. She had to quit her job to be with her three children who are all studying in Manila. That includes the youngest who needed to transfer to Manila to be with her other sisters. I said “unappropriate time” because her husband has just left the country for work in Saudi Arabia. A brother, who until lately tends for the two kids, left for Italy for a job. Their youngest sister left in June for London to work there also together with their brother who has been there for several years already. In Quezon City where they stayed, the family is staying just beside their sister whose husband is currently in the high seas as a chiefmate. Another brother-in-law left in May for overseas work. So you see, all the men in the family are out of the country. I could have helped them if I were in Manila as what I did before. But I’m also an OFW now.

Ate Lita sacrificed a lot for her family. When I last saw her, she’s not in good shape and a lot of people are advising her to seek medical help. However, she said that she’s not feeling anything unusual. That could be true but if you look at it, she may be shrugging aside whatever she feels. She has two kids in college and money is too hard to earn. At the same time, some cancer are undetectable until it kills you.

At this time, my brothers are rushing to Manila to aid my niece (Arianne) for the wake. They are there to help whatever they can. As for me, I can only offer prayers. Oh God, I can’t even send money they badly need to bring the body to Mindoro.

I beg you, please join me in praying for her soul.

First Day High!

It’s my first day of work here in Singapore. Honestly, it’s a great first day. Considering that it’s my first time to be employed outside of the Philippines, things went smoothly. I got my office supplies(notebook, puncher, rulers, ballpens, erasers, pencils, etc) immediately and had my own PC as well as phone. Not bad, right? On my previous company, I never had a puncher nor a stapler issued to me. Maybe my previous employer wanted to promote paperless office. J

No, I’m not basking at my former employer. To be honest, I love that company. As a matter of fact, I guess it’s my experience on providing onsite support in various countries that helped me make myself at ease here in SH. Of course, there will still be a lot of adjustments to be done. Though their processes are similar to my previous employer(let’s give a pseudocode of AIU), there are obvious differences.

Beside that, I’m a programmer here. Some of the people I knew would raise their eye brows but that’s true. I have fewer responsibilities here now, something that I have been longing for so long time already. I’m actually very happy to tell you that in the last 6 years, I think this is the first time I received so few emails in a work day. However, I already have three tickets (work requests/incident requests) waiting for me. As the saying goes, “Send Me To War!!!” But I’ll take it slow. I already set to my mind that I won’t be ‘Totoy Bibo’ here. I’ll try(just try) to be a little passive for some time but I’ll also evaluate the situation from time to time.

On a separate note, I’m now officially part of the Bagong Bayani (New Heroes) otherwise known as Overseas Filipino Workers. I’m officially part of the millions of Filipinos working abroad. Once I start sending money to my home country, a couple of thousand dollars will be added to that more than $1B monthly being sent to the Philippines.

To The Bank, At Last!

I thank God for this special day. It’s not just any other day that I always thank Him for because today, God has allowed the person to whom we pawned our house, to lend us the title so that we could finally submit it to the bank. To convince that person is a real tall order. Let’s call that person as Mrs. TF.

As a matter of fact, I had to execute a promisory note that I shall deliver to her a replacement title(my sister’s) just to convince her. On top of that, she has the passbook of our joint account where the proceeds of the loan will be deposited.

Handing the title to the bank is a win-win solution for all of us concerned. To itemize the benefits, they are as follows:
1. The bank will release the loan proceeds in staggard basis. That means we will receive some money that we will use to pay Mrs. TF. On the other hand, we can use some of the proceeds to continue work on the house.
2. Since we can continue to finish the house, we’ll have chance to receive the full amount of the loan thereby allowing us to pay completely Mrs. TF. Even if we don’t completely finish the house and just enough to make it to the 90% level, at least the house would already be livable.
3. When we pay Mrs. TF, we’ll no longer pay exorbitant interest rate. That’s a big relief.
4. Most importantly, I’ll only have to pay PHP30,000+ monthly for ten years. We’ll no longer have to worry that Mrs. TF will get our house.
5. The loan is insured. If I die, my family will no longer have to worry on how to pay the house. That’s already covered by the insurance as well as fire insurance.

In two to three year’s time, I plan to transfer the loan to PAG-IBIG. I hope I’ll still have that chance. But there’s still a big problem… how to get the other title.

With God’s help, I know we’ll get it. I’ll buy a lotto ticket tonight.

The Valley And Beyond

On the middle of all these mess, I can’t help but imagine about what lies beyond the valley. Simply put, what’s waiting for me and my family. Just like anybody else, I’m also human who hopes that everything will be cleared. Dreaming is my temporary respite from all the pressures and stress of my current situation. Somehow, it gives me energy to move forward — to do my responsibilities especially here at the office. Despite being bothered, I must continue life.

In line with that, we’ve able to disburse a considerable amount of money from Jan 23 until today. That’s for my accounts alone and I’m very thankful to our Lord for providing us the money. It came from various sources mainly from the business, of course. I’m also thankful to my employer who gave us performance bonus and the lowered tax rate is applied. They all came at a right time. But yes, despite all these, we’re still short of almost twice that amount. The sad thing is, it will grow larger with as time progresses because there are scheduled dues. But we can only do so much.

It’s an uphill battle that becomes more and more difficult each day. On every hill taken, there’s another one much higher than the last. It’s like the only easiest day was yesterday.

It is said (I also believe) that “HOPE IS NOT A COURSE OF ACTION” but when it’s only the best thing that you can do, you have to hold onto it. I pray that one day, I’ll be able to get a glimpse what’s beyond the valley. With God on my side, I know we’ll get there…. in His time.

Insurance 102

A lawyer friend always tells me that one of the most lucrative business is insurance. Specifically, he states that non-life insurance is shortchanging us from the premium that we pay them for well, insurance. He simply doesn’t believe in the system and if not for the requirement by the government for compulsary third-party liability for cars, he wouldn’t get one. Actually, CTPL is one of the cash cows of insurance companies all over the world and most especially here in the Philippines. Just look at the number of fly-by-night insurance companies and you’ll understand. Though I agree with some points raised by my friend, I do not completely agree. For high-risk- high-value items, I would still choose to insure them so that in times of disaster, I can get something in return that I may be able to use to start over.

But pre-need and life insurance plans are different. It offers return of your investment after an agreed time not like the usual non-life insurance wherein after your policy period, premium paid is all gone. I’m not sure about Health Insurance, though. A friend terminated his policy after paying large amount of money for several years without receiving nothing in return. He realized that he’s paying for something that he doesn’t need. Honestly, I feel the same but at the same time, the benefit of my mother’s Health Insurance is more than worth everything she paid. So it’s really a case to case basis.

Mind sets shared by my lawyer-friend to ordinary people does not really help in educating Filipinos regarding insurance. Unlike in the western countries where a majority of citizens have various insurance, Filipinos lack the knowledge on its importance. You may find it odd for a person who works in an insurance company like me but I admit that I don’t have my own life insurance yet. The only insurance that I have is the coverage provided for by my employer. Of course, I have plans to buy one. For now, it’s not yet my priority. Maybe I have to take Insurance 102 module as the 101 did not convince me enough.

Crossroads and Roadblocks

It’s a tough decision ahead. I’m on a crossroad.

My plans on working in Singapore suddenly hit a snag lately. First, there’s this POEA Memorandum on Direct Hire and then the US subprime crisis which could lead to recession. What on earth do these things have to do with me? Well, I thought there’s none until my prospect employer suspended their hiring. Talk about great timing.

On another hand are the other offers from the companies I applied in. My asking price is just above the average. What can I do? I can’t sacrifice my career here for a small increase in my paycheck. The main reason I want to go to Sing is to earn more, not simply for career advancement(though that’s part of it, admittedly). I don’t want to sound like a braggart but SGD4000 doesn’t really appeal to me because with the high cost of living in that city state, only a small amount will be left. So I have to wait for better offer.

What’s difficult here is that the management of my current employer is waiting for my decision. I’ve already told them my plans and though they understand my situation, I need to decide on whether I’ll go ahead or stay. It’s an important decision as they need it in the planning. It’s not like the company depends on me but on our setup, everybody is important. No one is indespensible but everyone matters. The company has been very good to me, I must admit. I cannot hang them in a balance.

Going to Sing is a big decision. It’s probably one of the biggest, if not the biggest, decision in my life. There’s a lot of things at stake and in the next two weeks, I have to make a final decision. I hope to God that he enlighten me and I ask you to pray for me. I know God has a reason for all these.

The TadPole Update

I visited a urologist last Saturday to ask an expert advice regarding my fertility problem. Yes, I call it that no matter how blunt the word is.

I was asked if I’m stressed. You guess it right, I am. Year 2007 was a year full of twists and turns. I started the year flying to Taiwan office to solve a problem in their application systems and a string of high-profile projects were dumped on me. It was very stressful and tiring that on mid-2007, I already want to quit. It was a year of numerous phone calls in the wee hours in the morning. And it doesn’t stop there. Our financial woes started last October until now.

Would that be the possible cause? As of now, we don’t know. One thing is for sure, I have 95% abnormal/weak sperm on my first test. The doctor advised me take another test in Capitol. He also did not find anything abnormal on my testicles so it will take several tests to be able to determine what needs to be done.

I was also advised to take Rogin E twice. If after the second test and the result is still not favorable, he’ll prescribe another medicine on top of RoginE. As for now, I’m not allowed to drink beer and any alcohol. I will not be affected by that since I only drink occasionally. So it’s much easier to avoid it all together. I also don’t have any problem with the no-smoking rule as I don’t smoke. I also don’t take drugs and never had. One last thing that I’m not allowed to take — spicy foods. Well, I also hate them. I hope these new measures will make my tadpoles stronger and live longer.

Look at me, as if my financial woes is not enough, I have this kind of deficiency. But I believe God has plans for Jane and me. Everything happens for a reason. All we have to do is wait and trust him.

Coconut and Typhoons

A priest recently ask me, “Do you know the difference between the coconuts near the shore and the trees inland?”

I pause a bit and convincing myself that I don’t see any difference, I asked him back. He told me that trees that grew near the shorelines are stronger and doesn’t easily fall even with strong winds and typhoons. I must admit that I did not realize that until he told me so. If you’ll notice, trees and nuts (coconuts) that stands near the shore is constantly battling strong winds but they don’t fall down. They even bear fruit. On the contrary, you’ll see fallen trees blocking the streets every time there is a strong typhoon. I’ve seen this numerous times in my home province. Our was even damaged one time by a fallen tree. So, how is it related to our dire situation?

People are like the trees. There are people who are like those that are near the shorelines. Winds from the seas are strong and constant. And the more they are battered by strong winds, the more they extends their roots into the ground. It adjusts to the situation so that on every time a typhoon or the strong “habagat” winds comes, the tree would be able to survive. In the end, the winds allowed the tree to grow stronger, with extended roots, with proper grounding. On the contrary, the trees further inland are not often subjected to strong winds and thus become vulnerable when a typhoon comes. They easily sway and fall.

In real life, problems actually makes us stronger. And we must understand that anything that won’t kill us will only make us stronger if we choose to. Easier said than done but with God’s grace, storms will past and we will be better prepared on the next.

Mask of Sorrow

In the gospel last Feb 2, Jesus was presented at the temple. There he met Simeon, a devout man and considered as a very intelligent. There the holy family also saw a widow named Anna. She is known as a prophetess. As a widow, she is described to have known and suffered sorrow. She must know what sorrow is all about.

In the gospel’s reflections in “366 days with the Lord”, a daily gospel published by St Paul’s, it says :

Anna’s being a widow meant that, at least because of the death of her husband, she had known sorrow. Sorrow can make us hard, bitter, and resentful, or more understanding, kinder, and more sympathetic. It can take away our faith or make our faith more solid. Which of these alternatives happens will depend on what we think about God – whether he’s a tyrant who sends sorrows with no apparent reason other than his own pleasure, or a loving Father who permits us to be tested to show who we are. To Anna, God was a loving Father.

It is very fitting in my current situation. Sorrow tests your faith in God and the way we will react on the these tests depends on how I think about God.
The reflection groups our reaction into two groups as follows;
Left : hard, bitter, and resentful - can take away our faith
Right : more understanding, kinder, and more sympathetic - make our faith more solid

It is very easy to say that we should choose those in right but I tell you, it’s not easy. I wouldn’t wish anybody to be in my situation. It’s as if I’m hanging on a last thread without knowing how long it can take me. It tests your faith and had not with my mother’s guidance and love during my formative years, I would have easily fallen. Your childhood environment matters, how you were presented to God just as Jesus is presented to the Temple.

Again, I ask for your prayers.

Hope is not a Course of Action

I saw the title of this post from a blog and it hit me hard. If you think of it, hope is not really a course of action. It’s actually an inaction but wether we admit it or not, we hold on this on dire situations. It’s not bad to hope but what’s wrong with it is the tendency to sit back and wait for will happen.

I must admit that I do have that tendency. Not sounding to defend myself, there are times that I don’t know what to do and the only option left for me is to wait and see. I realized that that’s not really an option because if you will just notice, there are ways to solve problems. You may not solve them all but at least, you’ll cover some ground.

Hope coupled with hard work and prayers will definitely result to something positive. Don’t just sit and wait, we have to do something. In my situation, I really have to work harder and continue to find solutions. It’s easier said than done but I have to. At the same time, we should appreciate all the blessings of the Lord. Trust me, your faith in God will keep you sane.